Ok, so I could barely keep it together long enough to order a grande soy vanilla latte at Starbucks just now (thought the caffeine might comfort my sad disposition). Jack and I dropped Emma Kate off today for her 2nd day of kindergarten. Carrying a bookbag that is as big as she is, Emma bravely walked into her classroom and didn’t look back (until I shouted a final goodbye). It seems like only yesterday that I took her to DUMC Preschool for the first time, and she cried and clung to me, and I was desperately afraid that she would never want to leave my side. While I am excited about the opportunities Emma will have at school, I can’t help but be a little sad that life as we have known it has changed. It has truly been a blessing to be able to stay at home with the kids; 5 years just isn’t enough time. My brave little girl is ready to question and embrace the world around her. If I’m being honest, I’m not ready to let her go… for that is what it feels like. Now I know why moms homeschool… to keep their children close at heart and at hand. I just told Jack that Mommy is sad today; and, he said, “Let me hold you.”
It’s eerily quiet in our house this morning. I think it’s time for a round of Hungry, Hungry Hippo!
Posted on August 22nd, 2007 by tonya
Filed under: Emma Kate
I cried reading your post. I’m sure your week has been filled with mixed emotions! We have been thinking of you all this week. It will get easier, I’m sure.
Thanks, Jo. And… I will be here to listen to you when you experience the same in a couple of years! If it wasn’t for the fact that Emma is so excited about going to school, I think today would be a lot harder. Leaving to pick her up in 30 min!
T
Tonya, I know exactly what you are going through. I can still remember that empty -in-the-pit-of my-stomach feeling from leaving YOU on your first day of school. And you can get braced for many more milestones of letting go a little bit at a time. Then, if you are blessed as I have been, your children will come back to you as adults you are proud of, and you’ll share a close relationship like ours. (It makes me sad and proud too, that Emma is in kindergarten– she is such a big girl now)!
Mom, thanks for the additional tears! I feel blessed to have the friendship that we share… I hope to have the same with Emma and Jack one day. But for now… I want to keep my babies!
T
I posted this poem on my blog back at Mother’s Day but I was reminded of it just now:
“When I was a baby, Mommy held me on her shoulder. She held me on her lap when I got a little older. When I started pulling up, My mommy helped me stand. When I started walking, Mommy held my little hand. Then I started running, and grew so big and smart. That’s when my Mommy let me go and held me in her heart.” -Susan Pflug
One of the best gifts we can give our kids is independence and the sense of worth and accomplishment that comes with it. But it’s not easy letting go of their hand so they can run.
Best,
Jo